Cucumbers, I’ll never look at you the same way again.

To think, you’ve been up to this all along.

Running around, getting pickled.

Oh, everyone else knew?

Sure they did. I believe you.

And yet, no one thought to tell me. So tell me, where did they hear about this?

Fruit Digest?

When did they hear about this? First grade? No? Third? Fine.

You know, chickpeas were a surprise, but not a shock. I always kinda knew they had a side gig.

But cucumbers, you’re good.

All this time with me eating the pickles, yet skipping the cucumbers. I was a victim of your charade.

First you’re next to squash, then you’re in a jar?!

A jar?!

Well, what next?

Are any of your friends in on this? Are olives actually apples that have been floating around in some silly concoction?

Or is it all part of an even more elaborate trick?

I know there are pickle trees, and trust me, I’ve got time to find them.