To settle the debate: Yes, if a tree falls in the forest and blah, blah, blah, it still makes a sound.
I know this because after a month break from my public yoga practice, I returned to L.A. Fitness and the 80 pound woman* who used to annoy the hell out of me still does.
Yesterday should have been an exciting day. A day of triumph. Because I can now balance the weight of my body on my knees, via my elbows. I’d like to celebrate by combining a pronoun, the word pretzel and one or two expletives, but I can’t.
Because homeslice is standing on her head. And we’re NOT DOING THAT POSE. My self-esteem is prepared for defeat when that time comes. I think about unicorns, puppies and how I really don’t want to stand on my head. Sometimes I get water.
But when it’s put your elbows on your knees and balance your weight time, I just want to steal the ball from a 10-year-old and sink the winning shot.
*At first, I thought, “I sure hope that lady never reads this blog.” And then I thought, “Who does read this blog?” And then I thought, “Hah! I don’t care if she reads this blog she’s been in a stand off with food since 1982. And I wasn’t even born in 1982.”