I’m in a complicated relationship with puberty and I want out.
I thought we broke up in 2002, but this painful, red bump on my chin is sending me mixed signals.
Admittedly, relationship communication is not my specialty, so let me be clear:
If my boobs aren’t going to get any bigger, I would like the pimples to stop as well.
Puberty, we had a fun ride but if you want to remain in my life you need to make some effort. And you need to treat my friends with respect as well, because as documented in a recent G-Chat with an unnamed female friend, I am not your only victim.
“I am not in puberty and I also have a giant zit on my face,” said my unnamed, 26-year-old female friend from Tampa, FL whose last name is Mirda and whose first name may or may not be Jess, which is short for the female name “Jessica.”
I also polled a male G-Chat friend about this topic and he responded, “I didn’t know boobs could be gross?”
So in conclusion, I will gladly purchase Clearasil if a trip to Victoria’s Secret is occasionally warranted.
You know, you can’t buy the car unless you take it for a test drive. I mean, if you let everyone take a ride, no one’s going to want to buy it. Or, if you give the cookies away for free, no one’s going to want any milk. Okay, honestly, I don’t understand any of those. Like, do you want a sample or not? I just don’t want zits.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
Weird. Three days ago I thought to myself “How am I almost 30 and still have acne?” as I was asking a Thai pharmacist where to buy acne cream.
Did it work out for you? Or did you end up with 3 bottles of shampoo and an untreated zit?
haha! It worked out.
My boyfriend used to have a back full of zits when he met me, and he’s 35. So I made him stop eating food that contained E621 (MSG) and poof they all disappeared…
I can still get a zit or two a year and only when I’m a day away from my period. Maybe it’s something similar to that?
Otherwise, I really hope puberty either leave you alone or grant you your boob wish. Should be fair after all.
I fit more into the “I get one pimple every 2-3 months but I’m going to be melodramatic and act like I get them all the time on my blog” category.
The thing about zits is…
guys dont really notice them unless they are on your breasts.
So now I may actually puke.
If you want to get *really* depressed: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/268795/adult_acne_and_wrinkles_effective_products.html?cat=69
So next will be pimples in my wrinkles?
Honestly, I don’t even know why I read your blog. Every time I come here I get grossed out.
As soon as I saw the title I knew I should leave but then I was just curious how you were going to connect the two. Before I knew it I had read the whole post. Disgusting.
(I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.)
Oh come on it’s not that bad. I didn’t talk about the puss inside of the zit or anything along those lines. You’re just angry you haven’t received your prize in the mail yet.
I’m not grossed out like Siddhartha, but for some weird reason I read your blog too. LOL That’s why, it takes otherwise lame information and makes it just comical. Thanks for the laugh. BTW me thinks that acne is here for a long while. I was working at a radio station and one of the account executives came into our office and said, “It’s my birthday, I’m 40 yrs old and what did I get?” she pointed to her forehead, “A Big Fat Zit”… no Jenn, God is not finished with us yet.
Good to see you on here Monica
No problem, it’s my aim to keep things mostly light and humorous on here. 40? Yikes, I guess I’ll keep my overnight face medication on stand-by!
Yeah, and did you know that once you have kids and get stretch marks, it’s totally possible to get zits within your stretchmarks, not just wrinkles? See? See? What we women have to deal with?! Oh and I’d like bigger boobs too. So maybe you could write a letter to the powers that be for both of us… two pairs of bigger boobs, and no zits. Like anywhere. Ever.
C
Working on it now. And oh my God, adoption sounds better than ever.
This is perhaps the funniest blog I hve read in a long time! I have always thanked god I am a guy. Urinating wherever we can, no lines for the restroom, no child birth, no periods, oh i could go on and on.
keep up the humor,luv it!
Thanks Phil! I’m glad you found me on here and I’m happy to have you in the comments section
You know, I’m 35, and I still get blackheads and the occasional zit. And let’s not talk about random ingrown hairs (I hate shaving my neck, truly). If that part of puberty is going to stay with me, then dammit, I want my teenage metabolism and energy levels back.
Agreed. I miss having pizza eating contests rather than avoiding the substance like it’s the plague.
I’m 35, too. And I currently have FOUR zits on my face (yes, it’s cyclical). You’d think the bustiness would make up for it, but once you outgrow Victoria’s Secret both on top & bottom, you begin to realize you should be careful what you wish for.
(Did I really just portray myself in this comment as a fat, pimply woman in her mid-30′s? Holy crap. Am I really going to hit submit? Probably…)
hah! It’s okay, you should see my recent post on how bad I am at dating. We’re in the same “honesty first, public opinion management second” club.
I’ll gladly trade-off zits in my 30s for having my own space away from the watchful eye of my parents a la adolescence.
That’s a fun would you rather..
I”m closer to 40 and when I hit 35, I started getting acne for the firs ttime EVER… so not fair!!! *hmph*
Thank gawd for dermatology.