I’m in a complicated relationship with puberty and I want out.
I thought we broke up in 2002, but this painful, red bump on my chin is sending me mixed signals.
Admittedly, relationship communication is not my specialty, so let me be clear:
If my boobs aren’t going to get any bigger, I would like the pimples to stop as well.
Puberty, we had a fun ride but if you want to remain in my life you need to make some effort. And you need to treat my friends with respect as well, because as documented in a recent G-Chat with an unnamed female friend, I am not your only victim.
“I am not in puberty and I also have a giant zit on my face,” said my unnamed, 26-year-old female friend from Tampa, FL whose last name is Mirda and whose first name may or may not be Jess, which is short for the female name “Jessica.”
I also polled a male G-Chat friend about this topic and he responded, “I didn’t know boobs could be gross?”
So in conclusion, I will gladly purchase Clearasil if a trip to Victoria’s Secret is occasionally warranted.
You know, you can’t buy the car unless you take it for a test drive. I mean, if you let everyone take a ride, no one’s going to want to buy it. Or, if you give the cookies away for free, no one’s going to want any milk. Okay, honestly, I don’t understand any of those. Like, do you want a sample or not? I just don’t want zits.