I thought I’d post this on Thursday just to keep it awkward.
This week I plan to begin a relentless email campaign to get sponsors for my blog, but before I write the canned email that I will cleverly tailor for each company, I’d like to thank my current sponsors, M&D, Inc.
You may be sponsored by them too. Well, maybe not by the same franchise, but I’m sure you’ve been in touch with corporate headquarters.
Last weekend, my sponsors took me on a weekend extravaganza. Included was a delicious Red Lobster lunch, a tank of gas, entrance to “Alice in Wonderland,” an oil change and a brand new laptop that had originally been purchased for corporate use but was beginning to collect a thin line of dust.
Additionally, I’d like to thank M&D, Inc. for not calling me out when I talk about roughing it in the same sentence as an $80 hair appointment or my plan to adopt a puppy.
Thank you M&D, Inc. for being my first blog sponsor*. While I have begun to joke that financially, I am both your 2nd and 3rd child, I am sure that some lucky company, perhaps one I have supported extensively through purchases and brand endorsement (Pabst Blue Ribbon, I’m talking to you), will soon pick up the tab and sponsor my happy, blogging ass.
Or maybe Conan O’Brien will pick me as his second person to follow on Twitter. Or Ellen will finally respond to one of my messages. Hello. Can anyone hear me?
*The title “first blog sponsor” does not include my venture capitalist, Big Brother, Inc. to whom I am in debt at least one, maybe five power wheels for his first born. Proper Internet thanks will be distributed to my first venture capitalist, who happens to be 10x funnier than me, in a future Wednesday Reflections post.
I love M&D inc. They are the best.
M&D is like the federal reserve. When they run out of money, they just print more, right?
They are basically here to bail us out. I'm pretty sure that how the economy works. Except in China where they are communists. Its funny that China gives us all this money though. Its like a big circle I think.
You know what, I dont even know where I'm going with this comment. I had an idea, I stopped to take a drink of coffee and all of a sudden, I'm writing about communism in China and how I think they are giving us money because eventually they have plans to own us. Like slaves.
Ok, bye.
M&D, Inc is indeed a fine, fine establishment.
And in fact, I am planning a relocation so that I may be fully and completely sponsored by Older More Responsible Sister, LLC for the entire summer. M&D has a nearby location, so I intend to allow multiple investments.
Good luck with the search. And I'm retweeting you, hope it helps with Ellen.
I would like to say Good Luck to you on getting new sponsors and maybe Conan O'Brien will pick you as a second person to follow on Twitter and of course maybe Ellen will finally respond to one of your messages.
Kind Regards,
Sam
X
Totally. Blog sponsors for life. Or until someone a PBR's headquarters checks their spam folder.
According to Britney Spears, slavery is sexy. Umm. Hello.
Awesome! Thanks for stopping by Whitney and for the assistance in successfully harassing Ellen via Twitter. It's so great when both establishments are centrally located.
Thanks Sam. I mean, it's about time Ellen responds. I'm about to send my THIRD tweet. Who does she think she is?
I'll be your sponsor.
There will be coffee and donuts just like at the regular meetings, right?
Oh no. Am I getting confirmed again?
Sorry ellen is too busy ogling (spell check disagrees but i think it should be spelled oggling) my high school classmate siobhan in ai right now… (Shameless plug for our relations).
i really think we should stage a protest outside pbr headquarters demanding they recognize your undying loyalty to their watery, crappy beverages. they would love you once we got their attention.
Lol. I wish I had a connection to Ellen. I would bug the hell out of them.
I agree! I've tried to reach them on Twitter before and I haven't gotten any response.