Give me two minutes alone and I’ll have ten questions.

As a child, my parents once bought me a book of questions and I loved it. I would sit in the window for hours and read and think. But even so, my most pressing childhood question was the derivative of a pop song.

“Mom, what does the word frequency mean? Why is he asking Kenneth?”

I figured that one out last week, but in its place are several new life-altering queries.

Tonight, I’ll share two.

Number One

What’s the frequency Cathy Dennis?

As I drove back to Boca today, I tuned in to 90s on 9 for nostalgia with a beat.

And after I let it linger, it happened. This happened.

Cathy Dennis, “Touch Me (All Night Long)”

Suddenly, I want more walls.

Number Two

Who invited The Situation to eat dried fruit?

After eating a nice $0.10 spaghetti dinner, I decided to have a little dried fruit for dessert.

And therein laid the problem. My bag boasts a medley of cranberries, blueberries and cherries.

Here is the situation:

You see, when I eat dried fruit the process in my head parallels the process in a guy’s head when he picks up a hot girl at a bar by promising to also entertain her two friends.

I speak not from personal experience. This is Jersey Shore 101.

That reminds me, I need to see if JS won an Oscar. Wrong award ceremony? Is the sun bigger than the moon? Why is the sky blue?