I rarely feel awkward about doing things solo.
I’m a bit of a loner. Always have been.
But I’ll admit, I did feel awkward spending half of my alotted lunch hour sitting quietly by myself at a blog networking workshop today.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk and meet people, it’s just that I’m a little out of practice. I mean, my last forced networking situation was in 1st grade. And even then, it wasn’t that difficult because I had a shitload of crayons and a built-in sharpener in the back of my box.
The next 13 years followed suit. I lived in the same town and went to school with the same friends.
Then, I joined an instant network of college friends when I signed on as a collegiate volleyball slave for four years.
So now, out in the real world, I sometimes find myself on aisle 9, desperately searching for whatever the hell kids color with these days.
I did enjoy the WordCamp Miami event today and I am looking forward to BarCamp tomorrow. So all you Miami folk, if you see a 5’9″ blonde sitting in the corner twirling her hair and re-checking her email, come say hello. I have magenta and I’m willing to make a deal.
I have been to a few events by myself. Even if you don't classify yourself as a loner, it can be a tough room. I'm not afraid to walk up to anyone, introduce myself and start a conversation. This strategy usually bodes well for me. However, at interactive marketing or tech events, I find it to be more challenging.
I almost think sitting in a corner alone is a better option. Why? Because then you're not vulnerable. You haven't “put yourself out there” for someone to stutter “Oh um I have to go to the bathroom” or LITERALLY turn their back on you and resume the conversation they were having with the people in their “group”.
Hey, I was a Theatre major (many many moons ago) so I am used to rejection but it still stings when someone blatantly blows you off at an event. But here's the kicker…. I don't think they really mean to. Perhaps I come on a little strong and I spook them. We are, afterall, tallking about tech folks. They are known for being a bit shy.
I would encourage you to try a new approach today. “Is this seat taken?” is a friendly non-threatening way to insert yourself into a lunch table. You won't spook the natives and perhaps you'll have something to add to the conversation. Who knows? You may make a new friend or two.
Good Luck!
Thanks for reaching out! So funny that you mentioned, “Is this seat taken?” I did do that at lunch today and I ended up meeting a hilarious guy who owns a website about identifying douchebags, so naturally when I explained the nature of my blog he asked if I'd like to submit content. I met a lot of really interesting people from all aspects of the tech community today and I'm excited to extend these new relationships. I've been looking for more of a connection with the local tech community and both WordCamp and BarCamp were really, really great starts. Looking forward to being in touch with you more! As a theatre major, I'd like to get your advice on improv classes.. I'm thinking of trying one. Thanks again for stopping by!
If I was there I probably wouldn't say hi b/c I'm like you and generally feel awkward intruding on other people's conversations, but I find if I find a few fellow loners in the back, we always end up playing nice w/ each other.
three cheers for loners!!
I had to type that alst sentence very slow to make sure I didnt accidentally start the last word with a b instead of an l. THAT would be hard to explain.
Anyway, I would have high fived you had I been there.
That's a good strategy as well! Yes, lunch time is the more awkward situation for me. People are already sitting together and unless you intrude you kinda have to stand to eat. I had a much easier time mixing in at the event on Sunday since I actually arrived on time and met people in the morning. Maybe we'll be at one of the same events some time!
If loners cheer, does anyone hear them?
As for your typing concerns, um, you are probably my 4th favorite person on the Internet. I say on the Internet because I haven't seen your existence in real life. 4th place because you know Lady Gaga is number one and John Cusack is number two and three.
I'm a bit of a loner too. Let's get together and immediately part ways
How in the hell have you missed “forced networking situations” for so long?
This is an outrage Jenny. AND you're 5'9? I'm livid!
If I was there I'd come say hello, but since I'm a loner like you, I'd then walk away fast so as not to ruin my mojo or yours!
Jenny,
I actually went to barcamp here in LA. It's funny because I was one of the most social people there. Barcamp is a pretty cool idea and the people that show up there are interesting to say the least
. Based on your blog posts I would have never pegged you for an introvert. I think you'll get used to being at these things the more you go to them. The way I see it, you want to make one true friend at each event and you've benefited from being there.
Lol. I love it. It's pretty crazy to just be getting involved in “forced networking” at age 25, but I have to say by day two last weekend my skills had already sharpened up a good bit. Where are you located.. going to any of the bigger networking events? I'm going to SESNY in a couple weeks..
I can picture you as being Mr. Social
It's kind of funny that the reaction when people who know me personally see my writing style or vice versa is really similar to when my friends would come to volleyball or basketball games in h.s. or college. I have a pretty quiet, shy demeanor and then I'd be fouled out by the third quarter. I kind of enjoy the split, but I think it confuses some. Once I break out of that little shy barrier though, it's time to tell me when to shut up, haha. I hope we can meet up at a networking event one day!
I'm off to SXSW in March. After that drains my bank account, I'll come back to Los Angeles and live in a tent on the street corner. Hi Jenny!