“I’m going to hell” is often the subtext to very, very funny jokes told by humans I would enjoy spending a few more minutes (possibly eternity) with. And this makes me wonder.
Have the cosmos figured out that by earthly standards only the funniest, most awesomepeople are actually R.S.V.P.-ing via the commonly accepted hell point system?
Do the eternally damned have a choice?
I may have just given up the opportunity to go to Hell A. But can I steal a look at the attendee list?
Like for Facebook events. I mean, I don’t want to hang out with Ed Gein, his complex or his vagina facials, but Tucker Max, I’ll have a beer with him. Not the same beer, of course. I read his book and I’m slightly terrified of his health report if even half of those stories are legit. What kind of music do they play in hell? I need a visual. 80s? Are we talking “Let it Whip”. I’m so there. What kind of entertainment can I expect? Broadway or cruise ship? Please say cruise ship. Bellyyyyyyyyyyy FLOP! What language do I need to speak? Like do they speak English in one and Xhosa in the other? Clicky, clicky. I made my picky. I might need to pull this car over. Think things through a bit.
I’d have a beer with Tucker Max, and I don’t even drink.
BTW, his stories may be a little exaggerated… but they’re all plausible. As in, I know people up to the same shenanigans, just no one with as much energy as Tucker (or willing to write about it. Heh)
@Phil – I was thinking more of WNBA.
@Nicole – I made necessary edits to include both White and Black Michael Jackson again.
@Dave – Oh me too. I mean, technically I have. If you count having dinner and beers solo at Applebees while reading his book “having a beer together.” I think most people just count that as weird though. Just saw your recent post and I have a couple entertaining spam comments to contribute to the discussion. I guess that’s what happens when you use dating sites to build traffic.
I just to comment on the motorcyclists who pull so far up comment…
Nothing could be more true! How many times has that happened to me? What gets me is the parking lots that have special motorcycle parking up near the handicapped parking spots, yet the spots are as big as regular parking spots! What do they need all that room for? If you are going to give them special parking spots then at least cut the size in half!
Am I right!
Good stuff. I just found your site through the ProBlogger forum and will make a point to stop back in the future!
Anytime somebody tells me about going to hell, I usually tell them to save me a seat at the bar and order me a drink because we’ll probably be there together .
@Kevin – Isn’t it great that our eternity will be spent without them?
@Sara – Agree to disagree. Tucker was kind of like Dan Brown for me. At first, I couldn’t put the book down. But then, it felt like the same tale over and over again. I guess there are pros and cons to mastering a writing style.
@Matt – Hey! Just because you’re a soon-to-be John Cusack print out owner, that doesn’t mean you can come stomping on my blog like the damn Wild Wild West and declare yourself the number one admirer of Nicole’s absolutely amazing blog. Okay, this time. This time I’ll let it slide.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh fuck that. There’s no WAY I’m going to hell B. DO YOU HEAR THAT UNIVERSE? PLEASE KEEP ME IN HELL A, JUST LIKE IN THE DIAGRAM.
Phew. That was close.
Great work Jenny! Love it.
Side note – I like nicole’s blog, although she will tell you that it’s more of a love that I have for it. She usually wins our tiny arguments.
Thanks Rich! Maybe you and I can argue over who loves her blog more? I’m really bad at arguing, so this could be a good self-esteem booster.
RICH TOTALLY LOVES MY BLOG.
Also? I’m thinking that having two Super Awesome People fighting over who loves me the most is the best use ever for a Tuesday night. Go for it.
I’d have a beer with Tucker Max, and I don’t even drink.
BTW, his stories may be a little exaggerated… but they’re all plausible. As in, I know people up to the same shenanigans, just no one with as much energy as Tucker (or willing to write about it. Heh)
I love you both, and you both are free to beat me in arguments when you need to. I suck at them anyway.
Love Jenny’s hand made charts and pictures, seriously love that.
and
Love playing word search through Nicole’s posts waiting to find magic word, which is of course vagina. Kudos for keeping it out of your recent post.
The way you can tell it’s hell is if all that’s playing on TV is soccer.
@Phil – I was thinking more of WNBA.
@Nicole – I made necessary edits to include both White and Black Michael Jackson again.
@Dave – Oh me too. I mean, technically I have. If you count having dinner and beers solo at Applebees while reading his book “having a beer together.” I think most people just count that as weird though. Just saw your recent post and I have a couple entertaining spam comments to contribute to the discussion. I guess that’s what happens when you use dating sites to build traffic.
I just to comment on the motorcyclists who pull so far up comment…
Nothing could be more true! How many times has that happened to me? What gets me is the parking lots that have special motorcycle parking up near the handicapped parking spots, yet the spots are as big as regular parking spots! What do they need all that room for? If you are going to give them special parking spots then at least cut the size in half!
Am I right!
Good stuff. I just found your site through the ProBlogger forum and will make a point to stop back in the future!
See, no. I have to disagree on the Tucker Max. Totally Hell B. His shenanigans are not cheeky and fun; they’re cruel and tragic. Evil shenanigans.
Jenny,
Anytime somebody tells me about going to hell, I usually tell them to save me a seat at the bar and order me a drink because we’ll probably be there together
.
No, I love Nicole’s blog most.
@Kevin – Isn’t it great that our eternity will be spent without them?
@Sara – Agree to disagree. Tucker was kind of like Dan Brown for me. At first, I couldn’t put the book down. But then, it felt like the same tale over and over again. I guess there are pros and cons to mastering a writing style.
@Matt – Hey! Just because you’re a soon-to-be John Cusack print out owner, that doesn’t mean you can come stomping on my blog like the damn Wild Wild West and declare yourself the number one admirer of Nicole’s absolutely amazing blog. Okay, this time. This time I’ll let it slide.