With the holiday season just one paycheck away, let us all give thanks that Michael Phelps was not in our sperm bank competition. Although, let us wish that perhaps he would overlook this fact and think of us all as brothers and sisters. Brothers and sisters who think endorsement checks are cool and don’t care what he does on the weekend. Unless he wants to invite us. And then we can all bring our camera phones and retire to lives of poolside mimosas. And with that, let parental mating never be mentioned again.
*Props to Alex for Michael Phelps Photoshopped head idea.