Disclaimer: We all know boys and girls digest food differently. Boys are gross whereas girls turn food into flowers. I stayed up late (9:45) to write this post for manpanions and the gross girls who actually make real poo. This is of course a catch-22 because the poo-making makes them not real girls.
Your first weekend trip with a significant other is a test of nerves. And bowel control, because surprisingly, 48 hours is actually more uncomfortable in real life than on TV.
Hangouts prior to the first weekend excursion are planned to allow both parties ample solo time in the toilet area (out of earshot). This planning allows each relationship participant to indulge in the finer things in life, like greasy ethnic foods.
When emergencies arise, immediate embarrassment and a corresponding break-up is avoided by using one of these single-use excuses:
· “I forgot something at my place, be right back.”
· “Man, that was a long line in there.”
· “Sorry we took so long. <Name of person who accompanied you to the bathroom> had to poop, hahahahah.”
While brittle white lies (a.k.a. Michael Jackson lies) like these may work fine for dates around town, they become weak and sometimes overdose when used during long weekends in the undivided company of your lover.
No worries though. Like usual, I have a solution.
Solution: The Weekend Bathroom Pass
How to Use the World’s First/Best Weekend Bathroom Pass
1. Before embarking on your weekend escape, print six copies
2. Give three copies of the Weekend Bathroom Pass to your manpanion/lady friend
3. When you feel the need to visit the bathroom for an extended period of time, retrieve a Weekend Bathroom Pass
4. Wave Weekend Bathroom Pass at manpanion/lady friend
5. Confirm eye contact
6. Rip Weekend Bathroom Pass in two while maintaining eye contact
7. Run to nearest bathroom
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh man, do I have quite the story. I may need to share this with you when we chat soon. Pretty funny story that relates to this exactly
Hahaha quite an idea you have there, Jenny! Just wait til marriage… all of that sneaking around goes out the door.
“While brittle white lies (a.k.a. Michael Jackson lies)”
HAHAHA. Nice.
@Rich – I feel for ya..
@Kitch – Oh nooooo. Haha.. marriage or 6 months into the relationship, right?
@Matt – Yayyyy. My comment stalking worked by luring you over to my site. Hurrah.
Phenominal.
Thanks Kevs!
I mispelled Phenomenal, and this is, this is why, this is why im hot….