I went to a bachelorette party this weekend.
And a little bald guy with no bowel control came too.*
Most of the time he giggled and stared.
But at 10:45 a.m. on day 2, he decided to air out the wind pipes.
Luckily, there were three mature, adult women ready to handle the situation.**
Meet Girl #1 and Girl #2**
“Umm.. the baby is crying..” – Girl #1
“Oh.. should we do something or is he supposed to cry it out?” – Me
“I don’t know. He just sounds so upset.” – Girl #2
We walk to door of room and look in. Infant waterworks are visually confirmed.
“Let’s pick him up.” - Girl #2
Baby stops crying. Starts catching up on snot suction.
Being picked up is confusing.
But it doesn’t take our victim long to remember. He ain’t happy. Crying continues.
“How do we make him stop!?!” – Girl #1 & Girl #2
“Maybe if we put this in his mouth?” – Girl #2
Baby rejects pacifier. Apparently this is not why he was screaming.
I apply for the role of “problem solver.”
“Stop doing this [BABY SCREAMING SOUND]!!!”- I say to the baby.
No luck.
Girl #1 abandons situation.
Girl #2 finds a set of these.
Insert two minutes of embarrassing singing on my part and dancing on Girl #2′s part.
“We don’t like to cry.. cha cha cha.. we are happy!! cha cha cha… we don’t like to cry…” – Me [in Mexican voice]
Baby giggles.
Baby’s grandma walks in room.
Dump and run.
*Name has been withheld and disguise has been added. I don’t want to research Internet privacy laws for 3-month-olds.
**Names have been withheld and disguises have been added. Because unlike me, these girls still believe there is more in store for them than a house full of cats.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
haha…I cannot recognize any of these people..great disguises. I wish you made one of them a pirate, and the other a ninja.
Oh man.. do you need a pirate ship too!?! So needy!!! Geez!!! Jokes.. a ninja sounds tough though!