Office water coolers provide a nurturing environment where gossip is dropped, time is wasted and thirst is sometimes quenched.
But beware.
The water cooler is also home of awkward office situation number two. (Read Awkward Office Situation, Episode 1: The Long Hallway).
You see, as more and more co-workers quench their thirst, the water line drops.
And sometimes, this water line drops to a point where it is considered rude to take the last few drops of purified water and return to your desk.
So instead of casually getting some ice cold water, you are now expected to lift a 15 to 20 lb. bottle and heave it upside down and into the hole before water spews all over the floor.
Nothing makes the $0.50 splurge for a Diet Coke look more appealing.
Fight or flight?
How thirsty are you?
Was this trip truly necessary?
Are you just getting water to compensate for time spent away from your desk?
Then flight is a good option.
But you still need to be casual.
A hasty cup return will portray this message, “I wanted water, but I’m going to wait ’til someone else unblocks the road to 0-calorie deliciousness.”
Flight doesn’t sound good?
Good job you good worker you.
You were actually thirsty.
Fight is your option.
As you probably already know, even when there is no visible water line, there is still water.
Yes!
Some people don’t know this.
But you and I, we are different.
We are water cooler fighters.
And as a fighter, you must enter survival mentality.
There are two essential
Almost-Empty Water Cooler Survival Tips
1. Be aware of your surroundings.
Do not enter the fight if there are other thirsty co-workers standing around. Rather, engage in meaningless conversation with a nearby co-worker until another fighter is forced to engage in hand-to-hand combat with the empty cooler.
2. Do not be overcome with greed.
Should you find yourself alone with an almost-barren water cooler, avoid the temptation to drain the cooler of every last drop. Only take the amount of water necessary to quench your immediate thirst. Greed for a full cup can lead to the awkward pass-by of a thirsty co-worker who was not present when you began your fight. Your fight mentality will be exposed as he/she realizes the gravity of the invisible water line.
*Of course, all options provided in this post are meant to help you avoid manual labor so don’t worry, I’m not even mentioning the silly option of simply avoiding all awkwardness by quickly replacing the almost-empty cooler.