The Unexpected Landfill Passing-Induced, Bowel Questioning Experience

Nothing parses your undivided devotion to the road and surrounding four-wheeled missiles quite like the unexpected aroma of one of Florida’s mountains.



And recently, I’ve noticed that as your incoming scent transitions from “New Car Scent” to warmed-over poop, there is a 3-5 second time frame during which you actually question the connection between your brain and your bowels.

Here’s how it goes.

*sniff*

“What IS that?” – You think.

*sniff*

“Did I shit myself?” – You dread.

*sniff*

“Maybe I just stepped in something.” – You hope.

*sniff*

“Ok it’s definitely NOT me. Time to call out [insert passenger name].”

“HEY, did you FART?” – You accuse.

“NO, you idiot. Look out the window.” – Shim responds.